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Whether this is healthy, good or kind, and whether you accept or like this about her, are all apparently beside her point. As-is. Take-leave. So my advice is to move yourself deliberately to the positive and productive end of the scale with full knowledge of her as-is terms. Since she’s not budging, anything that hinges on her changing the way she does things is not productive and therefore is out. Your dwelling on what you and she no longer talk about or share? That’s negative, so that’s out. Reacting when she gets upset is negative and counterproductive and out satin or leather ballet shoes uk sale. You get the idea..
What’s in: Dance your way, warmheartedly satin or leather ballet shoes uk sale. And look for what she does offer you now. Don’t be stingy; even shared history and financial stability have value. Find what pleasures you can in your present reality — both the good things about her company, and the good things about having more room to develop varied interests than you’ve had in three decades. Maybe you need to stay interesting to yourselves and each other through some smaller, separate pursuits. Kids are 20-year collaborations, each. You and your wife were good partners in these projects — excellent. It seems unrealistic, though, to think you can subtract this consuming purpose from your daily lives without consequence..
Explore this positive and productive side of the scale, as creatively as you need to and as transparently as any marriage deserves, then assess: Can you live happily in a marriage built out of the material you have, versus the material you keep trying in vain to get?. And don’t get hung up on what you “should” be “able to” accomplish. There is only what you do, what you have, and how you feel. As for her controlling and selfish nature: It’s emphatically not OK. But if I read things correctly, she was controlly before kids and after but not (problematically) during. If so, then maybe the project — the purpose — really is the thing. Maybe she’s bored and adrift; people sometimes micromanage less when there’s more to do. Maybe your marriage needs something to do satin or leather ballet shoes uk sale.
It has high mileage, and “instant connection” pheromones well out of warranty, yet you’re asking it to be enough, alone, to keep you both happy — which you’ve never asked of it before. Why not use your happier years as a script? Find a purpose and put it to work. Divorce can wait while you give it a try satin or leather ballet shoes uk sale. Email Carolyn at [email protected], follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com..
El Cerrito City Hall Gallery Space Exhibit “Un/Natural”: Through Feb. 21, 10890 San Pablo Ave., 2nd floor, El Cerrito. Artist’s reception, 5-6:30 p.m satin or leather ballet shoes uk sale. Jan. 26. Featuring 12 digital archive prints by Daniel Lippincott. http://el-cerrito.org/95/City-Hall-Gallery-Space. Empress Theatre: David Victor’s Supergroup: Skynnyn Lynnyrd: 8 p.m. Jan. 25. Tribute to Lynyrd Skynyrd. $25-$30. 330 Virginia St., Vallejo. www.empresstheatre.org. Altered States: Through March 24, Bedford Gallery, Lesher Center for the Arts, 1601 Civic Drive, Walnut Creek. Featuring artists across multiple generations living and working along the California coast who harness natural elements and the environment to create their work. Opening reception 3-5 p.m. Jan. 13. $3-$5. www.bedfordgallery.org..